fuck this life

i hate myself. i hate the way i look, the way i dress, the way i talk, and the way i act. i hate how much i weigh, how much acne scars my face, and how much i bite my nails. i hate how i never do the shit i tell myself that i’m going to do, how i lie to myself and others, and how much i cuss. i hate how i’m getting more frustrated at myself and everyone, how i’m eating more, and how much less i’m exercising. i hate my glasses, my eyes, my fingers, my toes, my arms, my chin, and my neck. i hate how there’s no even skin tone on my face, neck, arms, feet, and legs. i hate how much time i spend on the computer. i hate how i degrade myself because of the fucked up society. i hate how i always compare my big body to petite, slender girls and let my self-confidence go down the drain. i hate how i won’t do shit whenever people piss me off. i hate it when my sister and mom tell me to exercise, to get off my fat ass. i hate it when my sister tells me to stfu. i hate my loud voice. i hate the way i am never focused, how i always space out or shut off my thinking mode. i hate how i always complain. i hate the fact that i’m so fucking lazy. i hate how i always crave for money. i ahte it how i'm not close to my parents. i hate how i can't speak korean fluently. i hate it how i let people walk all over me all the time. fuck this shit. fuck my life. i’m so tired, so damn tired of living the same shit every single day. but guess what? i’m not going to do anything to get out of the routine. because that’s just the way i am. and i hate that.

i'm not beautiful, inside or out. nor am i unique.