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i jinxed myself. when i said that you guys will be in a relationship, i was just saying that, i really didn't mean it. and yet here i am, watching as my heart broke when i saw you two holding hands while walking to class together.

i'll live. i'll move on.

but i hope that she makes you happy.

you got me

Oh, I just cant get enough
How much do I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love

you make me the happiest and giddiest girl within the fastest moment and in that same moment, you have the ability to transform me into a heartbroken girl in denial. like today, i saw you laughing and subconsciously, i smiled too, but when i saw who you were laughing with, that smile slid off so quickly. i hate this so so much. to be honest, you two look like a cute couple. if you two ever be in a relationship with each other, i hope that she makes you happy.

fuck this life

i hate myself. i hate the way i look, the way i dress, the way i talk, and the way i act. i hate how much i weigh, how much acne scars my face, and how much i bite my nails. i hate how i never do the shit i tell myself that i’m going to do, how i lie to myself and others, and how much i cuss. i hate how i’m getting more frustrated at myself and everyone, how i’m eating more, and how much less i’m exercising. i hate my glasses, my eyes, my fingers, my toes, my arms, my chin, and my neck. i hate how there’s no even skin tone on my face, neck, arms, feet, and legs. i hate how much time i spend on the computer. i hate how i degrade myself because of the fucked up society. i hate how i always compare my big body to petite, slender girls and let my self-confidence go down the drain. i hate how i won’t do shit whenever people piss me off. i hate it when my sister and mom tell me to exercise, to get off my fat ass. i hate it when my sister tells me to stfu. i hate my loud voice. i hate the way i am never focused, how i always space out or shut off my thinking mode. i hate how i always complain. i hate the fact that i’m so fucking lazy. i hate how i always crave for money. i ahte it how i'm not close to my parents. i hate how i can't speak korean fluently. i hate it how i let people walk all over me all the time. fuck this shit. fuck my life. i’m so tired, so damn tired of living the same shit every single day. but guess what? i’m not going to do anything to get out of the routine. because that’s just the way i am. and i hate that.

i'm not beautiful, inside or out. nor am i unique.

dear ap euro exam,

i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.
i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher.

i will not fail you. instead i will get a 3 or higher even though at the moment i am near panic although i studied for over 5 hours and will study again for 3 hours tomorrow morning. let's say that i felt that i knew more than i studied in the bathroom. tomorrow when i enter the school library and start on the multiple choice, i will ace you or at least get a decent grade and i will progress to the essay portion with a good feeling in my heart and mind. after the 4 hour exam is over, i will scream and jump in joy and relief.

oh yeah, i. am. going. to. pass. that. exam.
BOOYEAH.

you're not sorry

neuro SONIC

is a good drink, even though it tastes like soap. the better one's neuroGASM because it tastes like berries. i like berries. christine's going high right now due to the intense cramming we did for euro. teeheeeheeeee~ she's scaring me right now o_o oh well. gotta go, euro calls.