mcs

diagnosis: middle child syndrome
symptoms include the following:

-misbehave to get attention
-go with the flow
-work as little as possible
-be less parent-dependent then their siblings
-an easy going personality
-trouble choosing a career path
-trouble maintaining a career
-quick loss of interest in things
-negative outlook on life
-half-assing
-indecisiveness
-become the ‘loner’ of the family, not participate in family events unless told to.
-play the peacemaker
-be more likely to go to a friend for advice than a parent
-be very creative (writing, arts, music, etc.)

congratulations cathleen. you have been diagnosed with the middle child syndrome and don’t you worry, it is not fatal, but it is an emotionally scarring condition. it might be a bit difficult to deal with forgotten dates, neglection, and your parents showing favoritism towards your older and younger sibling but you’ll be fine. look, there’s even famous middle children out there, such as madonna and david letterman! so don’t worry, you are completely fine. completely.

the fambam

whenever people are around my siblings and i, they always comment on how close we seem to be. -- well we are. and be jealous.

i love my siblings. even though i find it awkward and difficult whenever i try to say that to them, they know. i think. i'm pretty sure that i wouldn't be the person i am today without them being themselves and having memories together. anyways. of course i love my parents too, but there's always a language barrier that sets us apart and to be honest, i completely suck at talking in korean.

my brother can become the most annoying selfish brat that ever walked on this planet but it's all good because i can never stay mad at him for five minutes. we have this staring contest and i eventually laugh, the tension is gone, and all is good. he enjoys cooking and his food are delicious, so i hope that he'll find happiness in pursuing the culinary arts and ... make a five star restaurant where i can freeload off from, teehee.

my sister is a very complex person in my perspective. she's like an ocean -- can be calm at times and become a raging storm in the next. i can use alot of words to describe her like lazy, hilarious, intelligent, chill, mysterious, etc etc and she does seize the meaning of the adjective i use. at first i thought that i was the smart one in the family and it hurts to say this but to be honest, she's the smart one. urghhh hahaha, but i'm sure that its true. what she says sometimes stuns me, HAHA.

i'm glad that they're my siblings and not anyone else's.

daily cycle

yeeeeah, this is what i do everyday. when i saw this on my frfiend's fb, i laughed until my sides ached and until the ramyun i just ate threatened to come back up.

i will always love blogspot more than tumblr, even though i post more on the latter.

i have a story to tell you.
so there's this girl and i, we're pretty close friends. but lately i've been getting this vibe like we're not as close before and that we're drifting apart. i feel like i'm getting replaced by someone else and i try to hold on tighter to our friendship but that causes us to have some awkward conversations and such. and i don't want that quote to ever apply to me -- "funny how we used to be so close and now we're complete strangers."

i am nocturnal these days.

chuno

i've started watching chuno recently but i've started on episode 5, so i didn't get the plotline at first but it's like OMFG. sososososo intriguing and the characters have such sad histories and they're so complex! ohmygoodness, i adore chuno.

haters never prosper

well, it's actually cheaters never prosper, but it fits for haters too.

netizens get to me. the way they spend about 90% of their times behind their computers, their hawk eyes searching for any flaw that others have overseen. it's sickening the way they bash the idols that they hate and actually revel in their misery. does that really make you jump in glee to see someone's self-confidence decrease? does it really make you feel at top of the world just to see someone commit suicide because of your snide and cruel criticism?

yes yes i know i'm hating on them. but fuck netizens. they think they're the shit once they turn on their computers and then they become cowards the moment reality bitchslaps them. when you're beautiful the drama began i hated uee to the point i'd disrespect her, but now after seeing her performing, my perspective of her is slowly changing.

but those damn netizens don't know when to stop.

who cares if hwang tiffany looked a bit plump when dancing with jang wooyoung? did you see the laughter shining in her eyes? who cares if hyunah danced with jaebum? did you see how well they danced together? and who really cares about past comments on myspace? jaebum was caught up in the moment and let his anger speak for him. i'm pretty sure that everyone has had their moments in where they've let the fury spill out through profanity and i know i did many times.

like what if the tables have turned and it was actually them who were receiving the hate treatment? then the netizens would get a taste of their medicine and finally understand why some idols have contemplated suicide or have committed suicide.

damn. i'm pissed off now.

dona nobis pacem -- 2010

grant us peace Lord -- and you have.

this weekend was the winter retreat weekend. i went to forest home in ojai valley again and it was a trip down memory lane. everything was the same but it had a tinge of newness that was waiting to become one with the old.

whenever i went to retreat, i'd just cry and go with the flow but this one really had me in its grasp.

the adoration was unbelievable. it touched me for real this time and i could not stop crying due to ... everything. i thought about everything, especially about my relationship with God and that got the tears flowing. i realized that i'm only a sunday catholic and that thought just irritated and depressed me to no end because i know that i want to become more than an one-day worshiper. i've always been jealous of others who had God respond to their prayers and i know that if i want God to respond to my prayers, i had to start tinteracting to Him more. i had a talk with Father Pat and what he said just knocked some sense into me, he said that i was worrying too much about everything. i thought about that for a minute and it all made sense. for sure i'm turning to God more.

and those letters. the staff had our parents write us letters and when i read (or had frank teacher translate) what my mom wrote me, i realized that i sincerely have the best and caring mom ever. she believes in me and pushes me even when i feel like giving my 50%. i'm blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

this winter retreat was far the best one i've experience so far.