airplanes

i can really use a wish right now.

really. i'd wish for stop what i'm feeling right now. the unsettling feeling of doing nothing to finally achieve a major something like a goal will go away and then i can live my life to the fullest. cliche yes, but i can't help it. i don't think that i can ever get anything out of this life i'm living because i just don't try. my cynical self just tells me that i can't do it, i will never be able to grab onto the prize that i want so dearly and i listen. i listen even before i give myself a chance and i really hate that. i say that i'm going to change myself but it's an empty promise. it's beyond procrastination, it's beyond giving up. i never try. and i wish for that to not be the case.